My Mother’s Unplanned Visit and Its Impact on My Marriage
I need some advice. I’m in my early 30s, and I’ve been married for nearly three years. My husband has always insisted that I get his permission before any of my family members visit our home. Out of respect for his wishes, I haven’t had any family over for the entire duration of our marriage.
Recently, my mom mentioned she would visit us at the end of the month to see how I’m managing my home and marriage. I kept asking her for a specific date, hoping to discuss it with my husband beforehand, but she didn’t provide one.
A couple of days ago, I was startled to hear a knock on the door, and to my surprise, it was my mom. She had come from the village without giving any prior notice. This was her first visit here, despite her attempts in the past. Given my husband’s strict stance on family visits, I always discouraged her from coming to avoid any issues. Now, she’s arrived unannounced.
I’m deeply worried and distressed. For the past three days, my husband has been silent and distant. He’s refused to talk to either my mom or me, avoids my food, and has been sleeping in the guest room. I’ve tried to explain to him that I was unaware of my mom’s surprise visit and even asked her to return to the village until things settle down. I told my mom there was no need for her to stay, especially since we don’t have a newborn that requires her presence.
Despite my efforts, my husband is still upset, eating out, and leaving very early in the morning. This situation is putting a strain on my marriage, and I feel like it’s on the brink of falling apart because of my mom’s visit. I’ve told her that if this jeopardizes my marriage, I’ll never forgive her.
I’m comfortable with my situation, as I have a supportive mother-in-law who frequently visits and mentors me. I don’t mind if my mom doesn’t come over often, as long as I can visit her in the village. However, she seems insensitive to the impact of her visit and the potential consequences for my marriage.
I’m concerned about the future, especially since I’m not working and depend on the allowances my husband provides. If my marriage falls apart, it would deeply affect not just me but my entire family. I don’t want to return to a life of hardship, and I’m starting to suspect that my mom’s actions might be deliberately trying to disrupt my marriage.
I’ve even stopped talking to her in the hopes that she would leave, but she’s stubborn and refuses to go. I’m desperate and don’t want any issues in my marriage. How can I persuade her to leave without being harsh? My marriage is still young, and I’m afraid of losing everything. What should I do?
