How My Family Members Almost Destroyed My Marriage After I Relocated Abroad
I’m talking about the past four years of my journey through love, grief, and redemption. My siblings never warmed up to my spouse, the cool-headed lady who won my heart, but we were married. I felt the pressure of expectations because I was the first to marry and the third son.
My wife got pregnant soon after we were married, and three months into the pregnancy, I got my visa to visit Germany. She opted to live with her own family, even though my sisters offered they move in with her. My mom pushed me to let my sisters stay so they could “keep an eye” on her, but I accepted her choice rather than inflame the situation.
My wife was hesitant, but I reluctantly agreed, and soon after I left, my sisters inundated me with unfavorable gossip about her. I frequently confronted my wife, driven by insecurity, and instead of offering her support, I retreated both financially and emotionally. I even stopped giving her money and gave it to my mother instead.
The unfortunate scenario worsened when my wife gave birth to a stillborn child. I bought into my siblings’ story, believing that she was to blame for our death, when they accused her of foul play. We didn’t say anything for months, despite her cries for help.
After a year, I finally broke my quiet and went back to Nigeria. My wife was still the same kind person, but I felt alone and unworthy, especially after my family stopped talking to me and I was unable to find employment. Even though my wife was always there for me, I found it hard to accept that.
I had a dream one night about my late father, who made me realize how strong my wife was and how much enjoyment I had missed because of the way I had treated her. She was in profound grief, so he persuaded me to apologize and offer her gifts.
I became clear-eyed and saw that my family’s unwarranted assumptions had caused a wedge between us, which had been created by my own fears. I went to my wife, overcome with shame, and sincerely apologized. She accepted with grace, and our relationship started to grow again.
My wife eventually became pregnant once more, and I eventually found employment—albeit a low-paying one. I applied for a second visa with her assistance, and this time, I was successful. I made it clear to my sisters that their influence was poisonous and that they should not be in our marriage.
Life in Portugal is better now than it was. As my wife’s due date approaches, I feel a sense of calm and hope. I’ve come to realize that what really important is fostering our relationship and our beliefs, and I wouldn’t give this happiness for anything.
