6 Important Questions To Ask Your Wife Every Week
During the first ten years of our marriage, my wife made it clear that she didn’t want to get flowers on important occasions. She said these were unnecessary expenses, reiterating her preference for deeds of kindness. One time, as a marriage-focused public speaker, I chose to emphasize the variety of romance in a lecture by using roses. After buying roses ahead of time, I got home to see my wife’s face looked surprised, not like someone who thinks flowers are useless.
Her happiness was evident, but as soon as I told her why I had done this, it quickly changed to disappointment. My heart still aches thinking about this occurrence. Seeing her happy, in spite of her first attitude, revealed how life and our relationships change over time.
Since my wife was taking care of our three small children at home, buying flowers was more than just a gesture of luxury; it was a deep expression of gratitude and consideration.
This story is a moving reminder of how life is always changing and how our partners’ needs change as well. Frequent check-ins offer priceless insights to help you navigate these changes and embrace them more fully. Here are six important questions you should think about posing to your wife every week.
High Questions
1. What Is One Thing You Need Me To Celebrate?
When you were a toddler, a day without any embarrassing accidents in the diaper department was a reason to celebrate. In their latter years, a day without conflicts in their relationships is now worthy of a big parade.
2. What Makes It Special To You?
Knowing what is important to your wife gives you the ability to make those times and experiences even better for her. In a similar vein, knowing what makes our daughter happy helps us support her effectively in raising our children. When I see that days without poop accidents are treasured, I feel compelled to actively support and mentor them. Similarly, if the goal is to prevent relationship breakdowns, then it motivates me to intentionally assist her and our kids in developing peaceful connections.
3. How Can I Celebrate It?
This is where my bouquet mishandled. Even though she probably never thought of flowers as a source of happiness, this straightforward inquiry may have revealed her need for a brief break from her hectic days. A lesson was acquired. I’ve made it a point to give her flowers numerous times a year ever since. Her face still beams with pleasant surprise at the sight of those blooms, even if our kids are too old to be in diapers. And my goodness, what a stunning and radiant sight it is.
Low Questions
1. What Is One Thing Bothering You Right Now?
A chameleon, this question changes constantly to reflect the ups and downs of our lives with four children, two active occupations, and a plethora of intricate daily details. My wife’s answers provide a window into her inner world among this chaos, a haven from holding in her frustrations, stoking grudges, or overcoming difficulties in solitude. Her responses never cease to astound me, revealing hidden wants and complex desires. Let us now ask the question. Ultimately, our capacity to assist our spouses depends on our readiness to identify the areas in which they most need our help.
2. What Makes It Tough?
Be careful how you approach this topic. For our women, what seems difficult to us might not be as important, and vice versa. Approach the discussion with an open mind, understanding and appreciating the inherent variations in her perspective of the difficulties. Keep in mind that everything she finds difficult, no matter how we interpret it, is indeed difficult. Accept this realization as a means of comprehending why she can experience difficulties with related matters as well.
3. How Can I Let You Know That I Have Your Back?
Research indicates that a lot of couples who are having problems in their relationships try to improve their communication with each other, but they frequently use inappropriate tactics. We give ourselves the knowledge necessary to make significant progress by learning how our women need our assistance when things are tough.
As your spouse concludes, take a position of active listening and sincere interest in all she says. Say something as basic as “Thanks for sharing” to show your appreciation for her candor.
