3 Steps Of Having Empathy In Marriage
Empathy is a dynamic energy that demands purposeful involvement in the complex dance of marriage, not just a spectator. You have to deliberately take off your own shoes and walk a mile in hers in order to fully sympathize. Here, we break down three intentional stages of sympathetic involvement in marriage, each of which serves as a springboard for a closer bond with your spouse.
1. I See.
Your wife, in the complex fabric of marriage, longs for your presence, both literally and metaphorically. According to scientific research, the moment you look her in the eyes, a wave of empathy washes over you, creating a stronger bond with her inner world. Think about the impact of emotional mirroring as well—not mocking, but connecting with her emotions instead. Matching your facial expressions to hers causes her mirror neurons—the basic building blocks of empathy—to fire. This coordinated dance offers comfort in the midst of distress by promoting understanding and igniting the reasoning aspects of her mind.
2. I Get You.
Sometimes, in the complex dance of marital understanding, just acknowledging something is quite powerful. However, your wife may find that verbal affirmation is the key to opening her heart. Take a look at these examples: Your dissatisfaction with the lack of teamwork at work is evident, in my opinion. It everything makes perfect sense.” “I recognize how you feel slighted as a mom when my mother intervenes with the kids.” “Your disappointment over our son’s struggles in school, despite your dedicated help, is palpable.”
Your wife needs to know that you understand her situation. It’s important to understand her inner difficulties rather than merely hearing or seeing her. Once this bond is made, empathy starts to take root. But, based on your wife and the circumstances, you might need to take one more step.
3. I Got You.
This is the time to use your understanding of your wife’s world to your advantage and say, “I’ve got you.” It’s about making sure she knows how much you support her. Sometimes all you need to do is acknowledge her, to say that you see her, that you understand her. Nevertheless, there are times when deeds speak louder than words. Maybe she needs you to be more assertive in the household, step in to help with the children, or extend a sincere apology. Even if you don’t understand her point of view, it’s important to change your actions if they add to her emotional distress—especially in that case. For example, if your regular tardiness is the reason behind her frustration, try your best to be on time.
In the end, saying “I’ve got you” expresses your dedication to relieving her stress and giving her a genuine sense of understanding.
