5 Ways To Grow Your Relationships
As the founder and visionary of Grow in Naperville, a mental health sanctuary offering group support, coaching, and therapy, my main goal is to help whole individuals, couples, families, and communities. We all have the intrinsic ability to change, a basic yearning to fit in, and a story that defines who we are.
Empathizing with these facets of self-awareness and transparency is how deep human connections—almost like magic—are made. There is always room for improvement in any relationship, no matter how long you have been together or how new it is to you. Find five methods to start this adventure with each other here.
1. Play Together.
The joy of play is often overlooked in our busy lives, given up to the pressures of schedules full of work, childcare, and busy routines. With all of these demands, leisure time appears to be in short supply, perhaps overshadowed by arguments or serious conversations between partners. Even so, it’s still essential for couples to spend happy times together.
Playing together is incredibly important because it makes it possible for partners to interact on a friendlier, more vulnerable level, which creates a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere.
Everyone needs some humor in the middle of relationships that require constant work and life’s obstacles. Playfulness, even in tiny doses, can improve relationships by fostering enjoyable shared experiences that foster deeper connection.
Play doesn’t have to take a lot of time, effort, or money to incorporate. All it takes to encourage couples to bring some comedy into their lives is organizing an unusual date night, or sharing a joke, playing a game, or sending funny memes. Play doesn’t have to be complicated or simple; what counts is that it be included into your relationship. It’s amazing how a little humor can diffuse tension even in the midst of heated arguments, turning disagreements into chances for lighthearted conversation.
2. Pay Attention To Small Moments.
Big gestures don’t always include the essence that’s missing from conversations about feeling “disconnected” in relationships. The details that define your partner’s experiences and the complexities of comprehending their reality are what foster genuine connection. Although it requires time and work, the ties it creates are priceless.
I compare this to whether you and your partner are aware of one other’s nonverbal signs in your talks with customers. This is a skill that goes beyond relationships that are romantic and includes friendships and family dynamics as well. Whether it is a happy or difficult interaction, there is always room for connection.
We are always “putting it down” on an imaginary table in front of us, communicating with each other through words, gestures, and moods. When our partners notice and react to what we’ve communicated, we may truly connect.
It takes attentive observation, careful follow-up, and active listening to establish this kind of connection. Did your partner share a memorable experience from their day? Are they acting depressed or fixated on something? Talk to them, find out more, and show that you are genuinely interested. In what way is this achieved in real time? by recognizing the subtleties in their voice, reading their body language, and just being aware of them when they walk into a room.
Making eye contact is one of the fundamental exchanges that many long-term couples I work with have forgotten. It may seem simple, but it’s essential to reestablishing connection. Begin with these basic movements and work your way up to a better comprehension.
3. Figure Out What’s Yours, Mine And Ours.
No one is flawless; we are all flawed beings. However, we frequently become defensive when our shortcomings are brought up, sometimes deflecting the attention by drawing attention to the shortcomings of others.
Think of it as a graphic representation similar to a dynamic Venn diagram: the points where our lives and our partners’ cross are shared experiences and areas of growth that are referred to as “ours.” Beyond this overlap, though, are distinct “yours” and “mine,” formed by individual experiences, expectations, and beliefs that endure over the course of partnerships. It’s easy to point fingers at others while ignoring our own failings, but it’s far harder to examine our own actions, attitudes, and defenses.
Relationships benefit greatly from personal reflection since it promotes self-awareness and personal development. By sharing these thoughts, one can open oneself up to vulnerability and humility and invite others to do the same.
4. Share Your Stories – The Ones In Your Head and The Ones In Your Heart – With One Another.
Humans are storytellers by nature; they almost automatically create stories rather than wallowing in doubt. We have a lot of material to create stories from in the interwoven Venn diagram of relationships we all live in: prior encounters, brief encounters, all of which add to the stories we tell.
These narratives fulfill a variety of functions, depending on whether they are based in personal experience or historical events. However, being honest when discussing even the most outrageous presumptions reduces miscommunication and avoids emotional harm. Saying something like, “In my mind, I imagined that you…” can lead to deeper relationships and turn conversation into a profoundly vulnerable and understanding act.
5. Feed The Relationship Not The Ego.
This is a serious observation that is strongly related to the one before it: taking care of your relationship frequently entails putting aside your pride for the good of the partnership. Like “choosing your battles,” but with a dash of Zen wisdom added in. How much worth does doing what’s right really have if it means harming your relationship? Your ego may be temporarily satiated by winning a disagreement, but not if it comes at the expense of your partner’s feelings being ignored or minimized. It may count as a win in the ego world, but it clearly means defeat when it comes to harmonious relationships.
Almost all of these ideas revolve around embracing vulnerability with your partner. Vulnerability is one of the hardest emotions for people to deal with since it involves a fine line between sharing a piece of yourself and waiting for their reaction. However, it’s also the furnace in which deep bonds and private moments are created. We will always grow when we have the courage to show who we really are. Each and every one of us is capable of taking this journey.
