Everyone experiences bad moods now and then, triggered by life’s disappointments, stress, or even just a poor start to the day. When it’s your partner feeling down, you naturally want to help them feel better, but it’s crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity.
Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert, emphasizes that supporting a partner in a bad mood can vary greatly, from offering a hug to giving them space, or discussing the issue. It’s important to be attuned to what they need in the moment.
Here are some effective strategies to help you support your partner when they’re feeling down:
Effective Ways to Support a Partner in a Bad Mood
- Listen and Empathize: If they’re open to discussing their feelings, listen without judgment. Allow them to express themselves fully and validate their feelings.
- Give Them Space: If they prefer to be alone, respect their need for solitude. It’s important to allow them the time to process their feelings independently.
- Attempt to Cheer Them Up: Small, thoughtful gestures can make a big difference. Whether it’s making their favorite drink, drawing a bath, or a surprise treat, these acts of kindness can brighten their mood.
- Distract Them: Proposing a light, enjoyable activity can help shift their focus. Suggest watching a favorite show, playing a game, or taking a walk together.
- Offer Practical Support: If specific tasks are weighing on them, offer your help. Tackling a problem together can lighten their load and show your solidarity.
What to Avoid Doing
- Don’t Take It Personally: Understand that bad moods are often not about you. Recognize that external factors like stress or tiredness might be influencing their behavior.
- Resist the Urge to Fix Everything: Instead of immediately trying to solve the problem, focus on being present and supportive. Sometimes, they just need to feel heard, not fixed.
- Avoid Minimizing Their Feelings: Rather than dismissing their concerns, acknowledge their feelings. Validation can go a long way in making them feel supported.
- Stay Positive: Try to maintain your own calm and positive demeanor. This can be a comforting contrast to their moodiness and help de-escalate any tension.
- Don’t Make It About You: It’s important to put their needs at the forefront during these times, even if it means setting aside your own feelings temporarily.
Remember, your partner’s bad mood doesn’t define your entire relationship. By showing empathy and patience, and by knowing what to do—and what not to do—you can help them through their rough patch. However, if their mood doesn’t improve and seems to be part of a larger issue, encouraging them to seek professional help might be the next best step.
